I want to take a break from sharing examples of situations with my teenage girls, and explain the general model I used in interacting with them on topics that were not that simple. Though I had broad and general philosophies, there were multiple instances of shorter term relatively complex scenarios that I dealt with at various times when they were pre-teens and teenagers. The last few blogs are examples, and upon reflection I realized I dealt with these intermittent situations essentially the same - intentionally.
I believe any who have read my book or my blogs would pick-up that I was intentional in raising my daughters. I would also state the obvious - to be intentional, you must have an intent. To what level you are intentional is relative, in this blog I will share the deliberate way I dealt with such diverse situations that were not "cookie cutter."
At some point I could trace each scenario to one of my respective philosophies. Whether I had actually shared my thoughts or simply established an opinion, preferably before I was practically challenged with a real-world scenario, I had a viewpoint. Either way, in most instances, the broad philosophy in some form gave me enough reference to guide my eventual parental actions.
The next level was identifying a "strategic aim," which is a "desired outcome" but beyond the specific (and limited) situation at hand. The examples I have been sharing were specific instances, but each connected to a broader aim - whether empowerment, resilience, or relationships (to name a few). The difficulty is in not exclusively focusing on the specific problem, but contextualizing or connecting the specific problem/situation to the broader philosophy and longer range desired outcome.
That "connective tissue" is found in the approach. The approach sets the tone and best